bittersweet

"....like i said, i'm not going to make it difficult for you, no matter how it pains me..."

dead end....

madly in love with each other but isn't happy, tired, and fed up
the person you love most, does not have the number 1 quality in your list
should be busy to get things off your mind but keeps getting sick
happy but wrong timing
separated but still living under the shadow
a lot of options but chose not to make one so you won't get hurt.

its just a dead end.

f*ck!

tempted but

reach out my hand to you
offer whatever i have in my hands
invite you out for a movie or to dine out

but i just can't or i'd rather not to...

Ako Ay Kontrabida

Masama ang loob ko. Hindi ko alam kng tama ba itong nararamdaman ko o bunga lang ng ika nga madalas naming gamiting terminolohiya – ‘series of unfortunate events’.

I am a very opinionated person. I always say what’s on my mind and what I feel in the best way I can para hindi lang basta sinabi mo. Para tumagos. Magkasilbi ang mga salitang binibitiwan ko. I couldn’t define if having an expressive personality is a blessing or a curse. Kasi 11 out of 10 na argumento, pagtatalo, tampuhan, pagkakagalit at paghihiwalay, ikaw ang lumalabas na masama. Ikaw ang may kasalanan, ikaw ang kontrabida.

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko pa kayang sabihin na wala akong pakielam sa mga sinasabi ng mga taong ga- lugaw ang utak. Walang pakielam meaning, I won’t do anything about it. I would not defend; I would not explain myself to these creatures. Gaya ng palagi kong sinasabi, people who doesn’t matter will mind; and people who does matter won’t.

Pero, hindi porket sinasabi kong wala akong pakielam, hindi na masakit. Lalong lalo na kung walang katotohanan ang mga binabato nila sayo. Sila na wala namang karapatan at wala namang mga alam sa totoong nangyayari.

Mahirap man tanggapin para sa inyong makikitid ang utak pero totoo na kaming mga kontrabida, may damdamin din, naargabyado din, nasasaktan, napapagod.

Ang Tanong....

Bakit ngayong lang? Bakit ngayon pa? Sino ka ba? Anong alam mo? Anong karapatan mo? Ito na ba talaga? Tapos na ba? Hanggang kailan ba 'tong ganto? Paano na ung... ? Siya nga ba? Pagkakataon na ba ito? Dapat pa ba?

MATURITY...

doesn’t really come with age or the things that you can do.

Sometimes it is choosing not to do it even if you can. And if you did something you shouldn’t? that doesn’t make you immature by default … its owning what you did and taking responsibility for it.

loosing...

feels like im loosing my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life and possible future happines...

all at the same time...